The other morning I woke up at 5 a.m. and couldn’t breathe. A very uncomfortable feeling to say the least. My throat was very constricted, it felt like I had a huge lump in it. I swallowed and swallowed but it would only get a little bit better. I tried to sit up, to change position have a drink…I didn’t want to get up as I was too exhausted. I started my breathing exercise and focused on moving the stuck energy from my throat down. Eventually, I felt better and was even able to go back to sleep for a bit. I didn’t feel great for the rest of the day (and for a few after), I had contracted some kind of virus or bacterial infection for sure. The past two weeks had been a bit stressful as I tried to finish up taxes and other things. My life is pretty full of stressors on any given day but I thought I had improved on my managing skills a lot. I was feeling much better, a lot more energy, headaches a lot less often, almost no brain fog, the pain in all of my body had improved immensely since I started taking an amazing anti-inflammatory. My weight hasn’t changed since April, no matter what I do but at least it didn’t keep going up either. I would call this a success considering I am not on any medication, hormones etc…. However, this incident showed me again how closely my stress levels and me being prone to infections are related. I had managed to improve my health with the normal daily stress levels, but as soon as something else showed up, my body can’t yet handle it without taking a toll. And even though, it was a short period (a couple of weeks) with additional demands, I also fell back into my pattern of not taking care of myself. I didn’t rest during the day at all, I cut my meditations short, or, one some days, even left them out completely. I kept up with my daily walks (almost daily anyways), but cut them short as well. It was a humbling moment, when I realized that it only took a little extra on my plate and cutting down on my self-care for a short period, and my body would immediately say “No”. This reminded me again of a Sokrates quote: You cannot separate the mind from the body.” He thought that this is the reason why people can’t heal completely because physicians separate the mind from the body.
So, I bow down to my body once again, thanking it for giving me such clear signs of warning and I will remember to heed them.