The other day, I read a post by Danielle Laporte describing how some of her friends are in extreme pain sorting through the natural disaster that breaking up brings on. I can relate, totally.
Then I read a quote on my Yogi tea bag: Act, don’t just react. So far, I have been very passive-reactive to everything involving my separation, even though I was the one who left.
I had war declared on me. That is honestly how it feels. Nothing is fair anymore, lies are told, people need to be ruined. When war is declared, you have two options: you can surrender without fighting and live under occupation from then on forward. Or, you can fight back. In both situations, people will suffer, there will be great losses. I don’t want to do either, or at least, not solely. I am holding on to my belief that even through this, I don’t have to resort to hate, attack and meanness, but love, compassion, and empathy. I fail at it on a continued basis, however, I have made it my number one goal.
Every separation brings extreme losses with it, but hopefully, also relief and new beginnings. I refuse to live my life in a state of war over an extended period of time. So, I asked myself: how can I turn this into something positive, that will help me and maybe others going through similar experiences. With the help of my brilliant sister, an idea was born: writing has always been my passion so why not turn to it now during some of my most painful and vulnerable times? I decided to blog about my experiences, ups and downs, hurts, emotions, incidents, friends who turned away, new friends who stood by my side…you get the idea.
I will not go into factual details about what has happened or continues to happen, this is not going to be an “I hate my ex and look what he did now” type of blog, but rather a true account of how I feel through all of this. What emotions arise, how I deal with them etc…I will only provide as much factual detail as is needed to understand the emotions and feelings that come with it. May this blog show others going through similar experiences that they are not alone and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In the beginning, I didn’t want to talk about any of this at all. I couldn’t even bring myself to say: “I separated from my husband”. Now, I feel the time has come to talk/write about it. I am also doing this to give myself an opportunity to heal. It is a way of getting it out, not bottling it up which I tend to do so often which then usually leads to health problems.
This will also be about how this new level of stress has affected my Hashimoto healing. Some ailments that had almost disappeared over the last few months, came back. if you have read some of my posts, you know that I see stress as my only cause/progression of Hashimotos. I will write about new flare-ups and what I am doing about it.
May this blog be a help on the healing journey to myself and others.