One tough decision

surrendersilk

The other day, I made the decision to say good-bye to my beautiful horse Silk. After having had a child and a severe horse accident (not on Silk), I was having trouble getting my confidence back. Silk was young, sweet and talented and wasting away in the pasture. I decided to give it one more shot: I boarded her at a nearby stable, had the trainers put just under 30 days as a refresher on her and was going to take it from there. The confidence didn’t come back as quickly as I had thought. Now the idea was to take lessons with her, build our relationship together. This takes time. Then my life fell apart. Time and money were not available in the extraordinary situation at this point. So, I gave up a dream (for now) and put her up for sale. She has found a beautiful new home where she seems very happy. It helps to know. And it helps to know, this is not forever. It will pass. I will have a horse again, if I choose to. It will be exactly what I want. I vowed that from now on, I would create my life exactly the way I wanted it. No more compromises, within reason that is. I will have to compromise on my living situation for a while, until I can afford exactly what I want.

However, at this point, I can certainly choose the people I want to be around, the things I want to do in my free time, and some other things. As time goes on, I will be able to pick the perfect place to live, the perfect job etc…It’s a process, Rome wasn’t build in a day. But keeping it in mind and also trusting that everything will be exactly as it should be, is a step in the right direction. As Gabby B. says: give it up, hand it over, surrender… to a power greater than you.

I am trying…

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